How many frogs have you kissed? An Interview.

"I don't know why I agreed to do this."
Ellie makes a face.
"Oh right. I have a psychotic best friend."
Ellie pokes Jen in the ribs.
"Ow," sounds of a scuffle. "Okay! maybe not psychotic." Giggling ensues.
"Are you two going to take this seriously?"
"Yes Eric, I will take this seriously," giggling continues.
Sound of something hitting the floor.
"Eric come back."
"Eric stop rage quitting."

Eric: "Alright, Jen, how many frogs have you kissed?"
Jen: "What?"
Ellie: "I'd say about thirty-three."
Jen: "What!?"
Eric: "Did you not understand the question?"
Jen: "I don't know why I agreed to do this."
Ellie: "Eric means that you are the Princess from that Disney movie who kisses frogs in order that they become a prince."
Jen: "I know what he means- wait a minute, that "princess" wasn't a princess she was like this wannabe restaurant owner-"
Ellie: "Tiana."
Jen: "What?'
Ellie: "Tiana."
Jen: "Who?"
Ellie: "The princess."
Jen: "She wasn't a princess- was she?"
Eric: "Jeezu-"
Ellie: "Eric!"
Eric: "Sorry"
Sounds of a scuffle.
Eric: "Not in the face!" giggling. "I'm sorry!" scuffling "I give! Surrender! Please!"
some silence.
Jen: "It's a good thing, this isn't on video. That would have been embarrassing."
Eric: "It's a podcast."
Jen: "It's a podcast."
Eric: "You know I hate you."
Ellie: "Wasn't Eric the twenty-third frog?"
Jen: "Let me think. No, I think he was the twenty-fourth."
Eric: "I hate both of you."
Ellie: "We love you too, Erica."
later.
Eric:"Let's try this again."
Ellie: "Jen, why do you equate kissing men with frogs."
Jen: "Well, Ellie, I am glad you asked me that. As you will recall, when I was fifteen, you told me the fairy tale of Princess Lea and the Frog Prince over tea in the Gazebo in the garden."
Ellie: "Good times."
Jen: "Wel, Ellie, as I am but a young impressionable lass-"
Sounds of giggling.
Eric: "Ow!"
Jen: "As I was saying, I am easily impressed by such a basic truth as finding out if you are meant to be by kissing someone, I saw fit to take it upon myself to go out, searching for true love which by my logic would be solved with that first true love's kiss."
Eric: "Your logic is flawed."
Jen: "You failed to bring this up when I kissed you."
Eric: "I kissed you first."
Jen: "It did do something."
Eric:"Oh? What was that?"
Jen: "It turned you into a frog."
Sounds of giggling, followed by a loud crash.
Ellie: "Eric stop sulking, you are a very handsome frog."
More giggling.
Jen: "Well I guess Eric is out."
Ellie: "It looks that way."
Jen: "Anyway, after going through the whole let's date and work up to the first kiss, I got tired of waiting to see if the guy would get around to kissing me."
Ellie: "You mean they didn't try to kiss you on the first date?"
Jen: "No....are you telling me I am missing something?"
Ellie: "All the guys, I've dated, tried to kiss me on the first date."
Jen: "Dammit. This sucks."
Ellie: "I hear you, sister."
Jen: "Wait-a-minute! you've dated like 4 guys since I've known you!"
Ellie: "Sorry, I wondered when you would do the math."
Jen: "And one of them was your brother Eric!"
Ellie: "Technically he's my foster brother and there was a lot of pressure."
Jen: "He forced you into it."
Ellie: "Nooo? I mean it was more like persistent pleading and I finally gave in."
Jen: "He whined his way into a date?"
Ellie: "Yes and like an idiot, I gave in and let him kiss me."
Jen: "Was there even a date?"
Ellie: "Who do you think I am?"
Jen: "Sorry, I forget, I thought you were his sister!"
Ellie: "You are just jelly that he took me to an actual restaurant instead of McDonald's."
Jen: "If you call O'Charlies an actual restaurant."
Ellie: "One cannot expect French Cuisine in Topeka, Kansas."
Jen: "We are in Ohio."
Ellie: "It's a metaphor."
Jen: "Oh sure, go use some fancy words to cover over that you let your brother kiss you."
Ellie: "At least, my brother didn't film me kissing a frenching a teddy bear with tongue and everything and put it on AOL..."
Jen: "What?"
Ellie: "Totally making out with Sir Reginald and everything."
Jen: "That bastard! I am going to kill him!"
Ellie: "Anyway, you were telling us how you got tired of dating Frogs."
Jen: "You think you are so smooth. I know what you did there."
Sounds of giggling.
Ellie: "Whew, this is exhausting."
Jen: "Yup. How does Eric do this all the time."
Ellie: "if I had to guess I suspect his other guests don't tickle as much or use headlocks."
Jen: "That was a hug."
Ellie: "Sure, let's call it that."
Jen: "Look, it just proved to be easier to get the guy to kiss me first."
Ellie: "Before or after he asks you out?"
Screaming and laughing ensues.
Jen: "Let's call it a draw."
Ellie: "I win! I win!"
More sounds of laughter and screaming.
Ellie: "I still win though."
Jen: "You know Eric is going to be sure we were making out or something."
Ellie: "You mean the recording?"
Jen: "We could delete it...right?"
Ellie: "Where is it? All I see is a microphone."
Jen: "Damn, now I will have to kiss Eric again...or threaten to."
Ellie: "No, leave him as a frog."
Jen: "Speaking of which, I've got to go."
Ellie: "Which frog is it this time?"
Jen: "His name is Ivan, I think he's French or something."

So, where were we?

Research has begun.
Since Mondays are usually disastrous I will start with a fairly whimsical commentary on doing research via youtube.

1. Coming out videos. The popular ones feature beautiful boys and girls, men and women and I suspect because I am old, the girls and boys are older than they seem to me, telling me - I mean youtube-at-large that they are in fact gay and then they invariably burst into tears. At first, this made me very uncomfortable, I had to watch about 6 of them before I realized why.  The very pretty young woman would smile at the webcam, thank everyone for their continued support, I would look at the 500,000 plus subscribers (a few have over 1million) and then announce that they were, in fact, gay and they were coming out to the world and then, as if on cue, burst into tears or weep in a very appealing fashion. It comes across as rehearsed, I am not saying it's not genuine- hell if I came out as heterosexual, I would be a nervous wreck and probably have to do a dozen takes before giving up and choosing the least horrendous one. It just seems to be contrived. In all my viewings, and I realize I have but scratched the tip of the ice cap on top of the mountain here, there wasn't a single one where I got any other feeling but relief. I mean bursting into tears of.... that's what I mean. I sat there thinking: are they happy and crying? are they relieved they could finally say this and not implode? are they sad? mad? embarrassed? just being emotional (insert sexist slur)? Nope, I still don't know. I need Deadpool. I need Shakespeare. I need an aside. The reason I am crying here at this point in the video is because: (insert a reason why you are crying).
   I am not a bastard despite what you are thinking, I am a writer looking for a reason, an actor waiting for a motivation, "cue crying, what is my motivation for crying?" 
2. I was disappointed that youtube appears to only feature the beautiful (by pop culture standards) on every video I found. Admittedly I only tried for 30 minutes to find a less than ideal woman or man talking about coming out. I ended up with what I was almost sure was going to be a misogynist bashing coming out videos and found at least a better point of view.  His name is Onison. I did watch quite a few of his videos and his wife's. He's a really egocentric borderline asshole  who I find very insightful and amusing. I gave up after that.
3. The bisexual websites were at once confusing, buy this book, dig through this community discussion board on Reddit (I love Reddit but it's a full-time commitment finding the answers there) or go to a blog that makes absolutely no sense (of course it was 11:30 and my body can't decide if I am a night owl anymore or if I ever was). I tried a few "things you should never say to a bisexual" videos and posts and rolled my eyes because they were things you shouldn't say to anyone unless you are in deathmatch on Halo and the guy you are saying them to is 17 years old with the maturity of a 5-year-old and just called you mother an unseemly term implying that you should just off yourself right at that moment. But I digress.
   In short, not helpful.
4. The polyamory sites and pages were somewhat helpful in at least clarifying that there are multiple types of polyamory and what I thought it was - wasn't exactly what those sites say it is- if that makes sense. It did concrete some things for the plot of the novel.

Finally, I am reaching out to anyone, who is willing to start a conversation with me. I really want to get this novel written without screwing it up. I know that this is just surface stuff as I am really writing a book about relationships and the nature of love.

Everything else is really setting, I just want it to be believable and accurate.

I promise the next post will be something more along the lines of what I originally planned to post. let the character exploration re-commence!